It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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