i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
