also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
