Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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