She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize