therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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