Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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