So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize