...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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