dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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