I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
