then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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