Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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