So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
