perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
