Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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