I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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