This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
