So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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