so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
