I heard we made out
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize