Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
