You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
why do cheetos always look like penises
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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