So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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