We're like a lot better than the average bears
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
