Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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