I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
