Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
