New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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