shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
