Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
