I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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