Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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