But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
