I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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