just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
