hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
