i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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