My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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