This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
