I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
