she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
