He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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