he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
