i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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