I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
