I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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