saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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