I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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