I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
