...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
