Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
