there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Randomize
