so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
