im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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