I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
