So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
