i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
