I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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