thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
