I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
