you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
