i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
