Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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