the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just high enough for therapy.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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